Wednesday, April 7, 2010

farewell my first love and best friend

If I could make myself love you without fighting with you about the little things or change you into the mold I want you to be I would. I’ve tried to not let those miniscule things bother me but I can’t let them go for some reason. I guess that is the sign we needed to see that maybe our forbidden romance needs to end. Maybe we were never supposed to be romantically involved. Maybe we were just put into each other’s lives to help each other show each other a different life a better life a new perspective something we could take with us forever. We were only kids at the time. We discovered who we were together. Our relationship defined true love-love you work for, sacrifice for, and live for. The love that aches your heart to see that person’ s face to hear their voice, or just feel them. the love where you still get butterflies in anticipation of seeing them even months and years after you’ve been together. This was the love that you see in movies praying it exists . it was the feeling that you didn’t have to worry about being alone ever because you’re best friend would be the one you marry and live with forever. Somewhere along the way, that love got brushed to the side and taken for granted. Or maybe it was really supposed to just be a friendship and got twisted somehow. Three years ago we both fell in love for the first time and sometimes you have to say goodbye to your first love no matter how hard it hurts. You try to push that feeling away because it scares the crap out of you but in order to be happy you have to be honest with yourselves.
Rob and I tried to ignore these feelings for ourselves and everyone else but we couldn’t anymore. We love each other so much that we have to let go. That really makes no sense, but when you love someone that much you will understand it. For now we need time apart, maybe something will happen later and maybe we’ll just always be friends. We need to grow on our own now. It’s time.


  1. Amy, this is deep. I know we haven't spoken in a while, but I do hope you're doing okay. It's strange how everything is changing for everyone. I too am not with Justin anymore. I'm not sure if you knew about this or not from Brenna, but I broke up with him during the summer. It's true that when you love someone, you let them go. I felt the same way when I broke up with Justin.

  2. I thought I had already commented on this, but I guess not. It's very beautifully written, almost poetry. I can hear the hurt and pain, and it only saddens me that I wasn't there for you as I should have been. Thanks for still being with me in my situation. Even though we're geographically apart, your comforting words make me feel as if you're right here. I love you Ammy and always will. Thanks for loving me despite my flaws.

  3. i just now saw this:)...thank you for all of that it means a lot